One of most difficult challenges I wrestled with throughout my Navy career was balancing my time, energy and focus on being the best husband and father I could be with being the best Naval Officer I could be.
I don’t think anyone finds the perfect balance. I certainly did not.
However, along the way, I did learn a simple but powerful tip that helped me maintain a sense of balance. I learned of it 25 years ago and have tried to use it ever since. On this Father’s Day, I thought it appropriate to share it.
What is it?
If your spouse or child calls while you’re in a business meeting, unless the place is on fire, take the call.
I was nervous and intimidated as I fidgeted with my pencil and notebook. I scanned the room and realized that I was the most junior officer present. The others officers sitting around the large, imposing oak table were senior Naval Officers and members of the hospital’s Board of Directors. As the newest member of this august group, I was attending my very first C-Suite level meeting.
With all members of the Board of Directors sitting at their assigned seats, at exactly 8 o’clock that morning, the Commanding Officer (CO) entered the room. We instinctively jumped to attention as someone in the group loudly announced, “Attention on deck!”. While standard protocol of which I was very familiar, the episode caused more butterflies in my stomach.
The task of this group was to run the hospital as envisioned by the CO. While I knew this was important work, how the CO and the team conducted business was a mystery to me.
While this took place 25 years ago, I still vividly remember something the CO did during that meeting that left a profound and lasting impact on me.
About 10 minutes into the 1 hour scheduled meeting, the CO’s secretary entered the room and informed him that his wife had just called. While it wasn’t urgent, the secretary wanted to let him know. (This was in the early 1990’s and cell phones were still generally considered as a concept of science fiction.)
The CO thanked her, excused himself, and headed for the door. As he left the room he told us to continue the conversation and that he was going to call his wife back.
If your spouse or child calls while you’re in a business meeting, unless the place is on fire, take the call.
That really surprised me. Perplexed, I wondered why he had abruptly left such an important meeting. Clearly the call from his wife wasn’t urgent. It certainly didn’t fit my preconceived notions of a CO’s behavior.
I looked around the table to get confirmation that others were similarly surprised by the CO’s sudden departure. They weren’t. The conversation continued without skipping a beat. This was clearly not the first time the CO left a meeting to return a routine call from his wife.
Over the ensuing year or so, I learned that this was indeed the case. In fact, the CO similarly left meetings to return calls from his children.
What was the impact of this unexpected behavior?
…his actions gave us permission to enjoy time with our families without guilt.
All members of the command loved him for it. Morale under his leadership was always high. We worked very hard for him and the command enjoyed enormous success.
Reflecting back, I understand that his actions gave us permission to enjoy time with our families without guilt. It was a powerful message.
More importantly, he appeared to have a loving wife and family.
What did I learn about leadership that morning and over the ensuing months from that CO?
If your spouse or child calls while you’re in a business meeting, unless the place is on fire, take the call. It’s a great behavior that helps maintain a healthy sense of work-life balance for you, your family, and your team.
Be a great leader. Take the call.