I recently gave a talk to a group of senior Naval Officers and was introduced by a good friend and colleague. In her remarks she stated that, prior to her assuming command, I gave her some simple advice.
“Mark told me that leadership is about loving your people.” Given that my talk was around Valentine’s Day, the reference to ‘love’ seemed timely.
Is leadership about loving your people?
The following was written by a person who, during a series of crucible experiences, learned much about leadership:
“…Loving – something I so desperately hoped that I did – meant much more than simply feeling that I cared.
It meant patience when explaining something for the fifth time to a nineteen-year-old who just didn’t get it.
It meant kindness when an honest mistake was made while trying their hardest; mercy when deciding the appropriate punishment.”
Patience, kindness, mercy, caring, and, yes, love, is referenced in this emotional passage. One would think it came from a religious leader, a teacher, or perhaps a parent. Who wrote this, and under what circumstances?
The writer of these words is a United States Marine Corps officer who served three combat deployments in Iraq, including an exceptionally arduous and grueling tour in Ramadi in 2004.
After graduating from Princeton in 2001, Donovan Campbell wanted to give back to his country, engage in the world, and learn to lead. He joined the Marines and led a forty-man infantry platoon called Joker One. These words are from his book Joker One: A Marine Platoon’s Story of Courage, Leadership, and Brotherhood, a book he wrote after his service in the Marines. Donovan indeed gave back to his country…and he indeed learned to lead.
What did he learn? He learned that the secret to leadership is touching a heart before you ask for a hand. Leadership is about showing patience, kindness, mercy, caring, and, yes, love. Leadership is about showing common courtesies, caring and encouraging the growth and development of those whom you lead. Like the relationship between a parent and a child, leadership is about nurturing.
To care for someone is to show love. The more a leader cares, the more trust, the greater the effort.
My experiences and studies during my 30-year navy career led me to the same conclusion – the secret to effective leadership is trust, and the key to building trust is taking care of your people. When led by a leader who cares, employees will trust them, work harder for them and find more joy and satisfaction from their work. Care, trust, and effort are inexorably interlocked, and proportional. The more caring, the more trust, the greater the effort.
While busy leaders may be cognizant of the vital importance of building trust through caring, the truth is that most are not making it a priority. My book, which will be published later this year, discusses the vital importance of caring and delineates specific behaviors that a leader can easily employ to show that they care.
Is leadership about loving your people? Yes. To care for someone is to show love. The more a leader cares, the more trust, the greater the effort.
Be a great leader. Show your people that you care. They’ll trust you, and work very hard for you.